Emotional exhaustion

I stepped out into the lobby of the same day surgical waiting room so that the nurses can start my mothers IV line. She drank some orange juice to bring her blood sugar levels up early this morning and now she wont be able to be fully sedated for her surgery.

It's interesting to see things on the other side of the table -- these staff members are very compassionate. It reminds me that we are working with ppl, and their lives.

During the pre-op procedures I just stared off into space, looked down at the floor tiles and remained quiet the whole time. I guess -- as a nurse watching me you'd say that I was cold and uncaring, that I wasn't involved, or even guess that I have an attitude. I smell like second hand cigarette smoke, perhaps I am a dirty individual who doesn't care about their health. Maybe I'm a scumbag. I'm wearing a T shirt and jeans-- and they're wrinkled - I guess that means that I don't care about my appearance too. Assumptions... We've all got them.

Can you tell by my face that I'm exhausted? That I've worked 14 days in a row, jumped into a car and hauled ass to a destination where I didn't know what was going on? Did you know that my jeans and t-shirt is all I could grab in a moments notice? And that I've never touched a cigarette? Does my detachment tell you my career? Or education level? What does it say about my hobbies and lifestyle? How does my presentation affect how you will treat me? Speak to me? Help me find my way? Will you talk down to me? What's my value? Do I matter?

Assumptions -- we've all got 'em. Look at me -- and tell me who I am.